


In Which Patton Becomes a Baby and Stuff Happens

by EffieTrinket1619



Series: Mindless Fluff [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Baby Patton, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Little!Sides, M/M, Remy is a little shit, Roman is a dramatic is dramatic af, Wow, and all over the place, it's actually fluffy, meaningless, not my best work but whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:49:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21604018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EffieTrinket1619/pseuds/EffieTrinket1619
Summary: What the title says
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Series: Mindless Fluff [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1557040
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	In Which Patton Becomes a Baby and Stuff Happens

**Author's Note:**

> Here's your little!sides fic as I promised, because the world may be shit, but this website shouldn't be.

Virgil literally wanted to curl up in bed and not exist for a little while.

Nightmares were dumb and his brain was dumb, but hey, life couldn’t really get much suckier, could it? At least he had the others. It was a small consolation, but a welcome one, considering how rocky the road had been for the last couple of months.

But whatever.

He didn’t have the energy to deal with it this early in the morning. So early in fact, that Logan wasn’t up and around. Pouring himself a coffee, he seriously contemplated either shutting himself in his room or shutting Princey in his room to get some peace and quiet, though he doubted that Patton would let that happen. Plus, enclosed spaces were a touchy subject for all of them at the moment.

Sighing and bracing himself for the crappy day ahead of him, Virgil hauled himself up onto the counter to sip at his coffee. Staring contently at a random spot in the wall, he relished in the silence that rarely came with this family. Not that he didn’t like it, but goddamn, it was so _loud._

Well, he was calm until the day somehow got worse before it even began.

He was alerted to the new arrival at a tug at pants. Sleepily, he looked down, and nearly shrieked at the sight of a child, no older than three or four, his tuft of blond hair peeking out from the enormous grey sweater he was wearing.

“Virge!” the child babbled excitedly, holding his hands up toward Virgil. Leaping off the counter cautiously, he knelt and put two hands on the child’s shoulders.

“Can you tell me your name, buddy?” Virgil tried, feeling anxiety bubbling in his stomach.

The kid brightened immediately. “Hi Virgie, I’m Pat!”

“Oh shit, oh fuck, oh my god, Pat?” The kid nodded, his smile a little smaller. Putting his head in his hands, Virgil counted to ten, hoping and praying that it was all just some hallucination, or maybe he was still dreaming.

But nope, Little Patton didn’t disappear even after ten seconds and Virgil’s heart sunk to his stomach. “Virgie?” Patton asked.

“I’m fine. It’s fine. This is fine. It’s all cool.” He huffed out a breath, staring at Patton. Sighing, he stood and picked Pat up, holding him securely on his hip. “Tell you what. How about we eat some breakfast and wait for the others to wake up. Then we can figure out what to do, yeah?”

Patton nodded, grinning widely. Virgil actually felt his heart melt a little. As weird as this was, Pat was adorable as a baby, and no one could really deny it. If they did Virgil would destroy them.

Pat, as it turned out, wanted apple juice in a cup, because he was a _big boy, Virge, like you!_ So, Virgil, unable to stand the puppy eyes which had seemed to double in size and effectiveness, helped Patton drink his juice, who was very proud of himself over the fact that only a little dribbled out of his mouth.

Smiling a little at Patton’s antics, Virgil watched him closely as he nibbled on a slice of toast. His anxiety was spiking a little with the risk of keeping Patton on the counter (he could get fall off and die and then Thomas wouldn’t have morality and he’ll go make everyone hate him and he wouldn’t have any friends left and Thomas would stop doing YouTube and he’ll go bankrupt and he’ll die as a beggar on the side of the road and--) but putting Patton on the ground where he could get himself into bad situations in the Mindscape scared Virgil even more.

So Virgil was internally fighting himself until he heard Patton shriek (nearly gave him a heart attack).

“Mama Lo!” he exclaimed. Logan stood halfway from the living room to the kitchen, completely frozen in his tracks. He blinked owlishly at Patton and then Virgil.

“Ah. Virgil, could you possibly--” he began calmly.

“Couldn’t tell you what happened if I tried, man. I blame Princey, though.”

“Blame me for what?” Roman breezed in, sunlight streaking across his skin and red sash, bathing the room in crimson for a second. Virgil snickered, knowing he had actually taken the time to mark out where the sun hit the kitchen in the right way in the mornings.

Snorting, Virgil responded, vaguely waving toward the problem, who was, at that moment, giggling in Logan’s arms. “Pat shrunk.”

Roman stared, open-mouthed at the tot. “What the fuck?”

“That is one question we could ask, yes. How did this happen, is another viable question. Also, refrain from swearing in front of the child.” Logan adjusted his glasses, pushing them further up on his nose in an attempt to stop Patton from touching them. “Please do not do that Patton. My glasses are fragile.”

Patton frowned, making Virgil scream internally. _He was somehow more adorable, how was this possible?_

“Logan, I don’t think you understand how much I physically can’t do that.”

Logan levelled the both of them with a glare, somehow looking intimidating with a toddler cooing and squirming in his arms. “I will create a swear jar.” Roman let out a laugh, which only made Logan stare more intensely. “I am not joking. I wear a necktie, and people who wear neckties are serious. Except for Emile, I suppose,” he added.

Before Virgil could make fun at Logan for the stupidness of it all, Patton burst into tears.

“Woah, woah, shh, hey no. What’s wrong, Padr-uh, Pat?” Roman came forward with an easy smile and warm eyes. “Why the long face?”

Virgil, who’d flinched away from the sudden mood shift, was thankful that the others were taking control of the situation, though guilt bubbled up in his stomach over the fact that he wasn’t actually helping.

“Num num. Please,” Pat babbled, waving his chubby little hands about.

Logan seemed at a loss for words. “What on earth is--"

“Oh, why didn’t you just say, my little explorer. A bottle of milk coming right up!” Roman rumbled, setting about and preparing the milk. Blinking, Virgil raised an eyebrow at him. Roman only smiled back, something that terrified Virgil. What else did he fucking know?

“How on earth--"

“Don’t question it Logan. Just don’t.”

“Fair enough. Shall we eat breakfast before we attempt to figure this out?”

“Please.”

“ _What the hell do we do?”_ Roman exclaimed.

An hour later, they were seated in the Mindscape commons and after having downed copious amounts of coffee, they were far more awake, meaning that the panic had finally kicked in.

“I am not entirely sure. Shall we tell Thomas of the situation? It would be unfair to leave him out of a problem that largely concerns his wellbeing.” Logan had his head in his hands, trying to ward off an oncoming headache. Patton was happily scribbling away at a blank sheet of paper with one of the hundreds of different coloured markers that Roman had conjured (“Pat can’t unleash his inner creativity without every colour under the sun!” “Roman that’s a stupid idea and you know it.” “Shut up Virgil!”).

Virgil scoffed. “Yeah, a-doy.”

“Shall we tell him now, or should we wait?”

Logan sighed through his nose. “Patton, dear. Would you like to see Thomas now?”

Patton blinked at Logan, registering the question. “I wanna see Thomathy please!” he gurgled adorably. Well, that was settled.

“Someone’s gotta explain this to Thomas. Dibs not it!” Roman exclaimed.

“Dibs not it.”

“You two are so immature. Very well. I will be the one to break this news to Thomas. Anything else?”

“Lookit my drawing!”

Patton proceeded to then shove his picture under Logan’s nose. It was crude, and depicted five figures, one purple, one pink, one red and one blue one surrounding a smaller cyan person. “Ah. It’s very…colourful, Patton.”

Patton pointed at the figures as he spoke. “That’s Virgie, Ro-Ro, Mama Lo, Thomathy and there’s me!”

Virgil took the picture gently from Patton’s hands, examining it with an overblown impression of an art critic. “It’s the best drawing I’ve seen in my life. It should be hung in a museum, yeah Roman?”

“Why am I ‘Mama Lo’?”

“Shut up Logan.”

Roman grinned, lifting Patton up into the air. “Absolutely! I can see it now. It’s framed in gold--"

“And rubies!”

“—and rubies, and everyone from all over the land would come to see it. Even,” he added in a low whisper, “the kings and queens and princes and princesses of the land. And the queen would ask ‘Where is the artist of this picture?’” Roman’s impression of the queen made Patton giggle from atop of Roman’s shoulders. “And that’s how you become best friends with the queen. You would have tea with her every other week.”

“With chocolate cookies!”

“Oh certainly.”

Roman had given Logan and Virgil enough time to summon a book on the Mindscape, alert Thomas that they were coming and figure out what they were going to say. “Is everybody ready to go?”

“Yup.”

“Yes.”

“Uhuh!”

Logan smiled at Patton, though something dropped in his stomach. “Three, two, one.”

And they sunk, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down…

“Oh, hey guys- _what the hell happened?!”_

“Ah, you caught on quickly.”

Roman knelt down to help Patton off of his shoulders, who ran right over to Thomas and hugged him tightly, happily repeating “Thomathy” into his shirt.

“There has been an incident that began sometime last night, where Patton has seemed to have shrunk into a version of you as a toddler. We have no diagnosis as of yet.” Logan frowned at the way Patton was drooling all over Thomas, but didn’t comment on it. “I have much research to do.”

Thomas carefully lifted the kid up, balancing him on his hip. “Well, we have a kid now. Anyone know how to take care of a child?”

“Patton does--oh.”

“Astute observation, Roman. Anyone else?”

A chorus of ‘no’s’ ran out across the room. “We should get help.”

“Well, I for one, do not trust Remy alone with a child. He might try to feed him that godforsaken coffee he carries around constantly.”

“Hey, Emile’s a therapist. He’d have some experience.”

Roman knelt down on one knee to talk to Patton. “Do you wanna see Emile, little compadré?”

“Yes!” Patton exclaimed, waving his little arms around madly. Logan exchanged a look with Virgil, who shrugged.

“Alright, who’s taking him?”

“Dibs not it!”

“Dibs not it,” Logan deadpanned, staring into Roman’s fucking soul.

Roman stared at Virgil helplessly, who shrugged again, with a wicked smile on his face. “Oh well. It’s your turn. Go on.”

Thomas looked between them. “What’s so bad about visiting Emile?” he asked.

Logan shook his head, smiling a little. “Emile is nice. He isn’t the reason we dread going over.” Virgil snorted, picking at his sleeves. “It’s more Remy. He’s a little… _critical._ ”

“Of what?”

“Literally everything.”

Roman moaned into his hands. “I’m Thomas’s ego and self-confidence! You can’t expect me to go into that mess alone!” He ran his hands through his hair and fixed Thomas with his best puppy eyes. Thomas pursed his lips.

“You’re going.”

“Goddamn it, Thomathy.”

“What?”

Roman sighed, holding onto Patton’s hand tightly as he knocked on the door to the entrance hall of Remy and Emile’s part of the Mindscape. It was, unfortunately, Remy who answered.

“Wassup—oh? Who’s this lil fella?” he chirped, far too bubbly for this situation.

Roman pushed his way in, stepping past Remy. Perhaps if he established dominance, he could scare Remy into not talking. “Patton. We have a situation.”

Remy looked at Patton over his sunglasses, closing the door with a click. “I can tell, hun. Oh, and by the way, your sash is crooked.”

Roman groaned internally. It had begun. “Whatever. Can you get Emile?”

Remy peered at him over his sunglasses. “Emile’s sick. I’m making him stay in bed for the day.” He grinned, wide and bright. “Looks like you’re stuck with me!”

Roman immediately tried to backtrack. “Oh, no that’s not necessary!” he said, waving his arms placatingly.

Remy threw his head back and laughed. Kneeling down to Patton’s level, he whispered to him. “Don’ let Roman talk you into not visitin’ me, kay?” he murmured.

Patton nodded, beaming. “Okay!”

Remy ruffled Pat’s hair, smiling a little. “Remember, I’m here if you wanna just get rid of those pricks and relax a little, come over. We’ve literally got infinite cartoons.”

Roman perked up a little. “Wait, so you’re not coming over?”

Remy scoffed, shaking his head. “Emile’s sick, do you really think I’ll leave him for you dumbasses? Not you, baby,” he crooned to Pat. “We’re thrilled to have you here. But I’m stayin’ till he’s better. But, my offer still stands.” He checked the clock on the wall. “Aight, I gotta kick you out. It’s time for Emile’s meds. Gotta make sure he didn’t fucking move from his bed again.” He groaned comically, making Patton laugh.

Roman waved, awkwardly. Well that wasn’t so bad. Remy seemed too stressed to make more than one comment, which was new. And welcome. “See you, then.”

“Bye bitch. Bye sweetie.”

They ultimately decided to take shifts to watch Patton. Virgil had the first shift, much to his amusement. He just sat on the couch and scrolled through his phone while Pat watched TV. It was a good arrangement. Both of them got on with their own, separate activities while being within five feet of each other at all times.

At some point, Patton poked his knee and held his hands up. Virgil, smiling at him ~~and hoping to every god out there that Princey didn’t catch him like this~~ , picked him up and put Pat on his lap, holding him close.

Patton curled up on Virgil’s stomach, head drooping against his chest. Within a few minutes, he fell asleep, leaving Virgil stuck with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

And at that moment, Roman waltzed his royal ass in. “Hey,” he said in his too-loud voice, “it’s my shift—”

He stopped abruptly at the sight in front of him. It almost made him smile. Patton had fallen asleep against Virgil, who had his hackles raised in a snarl. “Wake him up, and I will fucking _end_ you.”

Roman raised his hands in surrender, a shit-eating grin stuck on his face. He edged around the couch so that he was just out of reach of Virgil and sat down next to him, summoning a huge blanket to drape over the three of them. “Not gonna wake him up.” Roman looked at Virgil. “Sleep. You need it.”

Virgil huffed, turning his head to hide his smile. “Fine,” he muttered, dropping his head onto the couch. Roman snuggled closer, and Virgil could feel him nodding off as well.

They were all asleep like that within minutes.

Logan passed by the commons to see how Roman was doing and paused at the sight in front of him. Roman, Virgil and a fully-grown Patton between them all huddled under one blanket, fast asleep. Smirking, he took out his phone and clicked many pictures, sending one to Remy and Emile.

Shaking his head fondly, Logan walked around and got into the pile with them all, letting his head drop on Roman’s shoulder.

This was nice. 

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies if this wasn't what you were looking for. I admit it came out weirdly for my taste, and a little short by my standards, but I wanted to get it done so that I could look forward to future projects. I do have some ideas though.


End file.
